Dedicate this post to a special friend of mine in heaven for 6 years and also my ex boyfriend - H & A.
It is based on true life experience.
I decided to write this post, not because of i want your empathy or sympathy, but to share this feeling to you.
I cannot say this is related to the human communication subject, but i just want to share with you.
I knew these two boys. I cannot say they are men, because that time i was young, about 12.
I knew these two boys, namely H & A. We became real good friends, in fact buddies.
H, is always like a brother to me. I never felt this way before - so protective and feeling good around him. When i was young, i was really a tomboy. A, on the other hand, he is really a smart person. Until now, he is. He is total different man compared to others. I never seen such a person who can understand another person's feeling well.
Especially me.
When we three are together, we had fun, like real fun.
It was some how the best time in my life, now to think back.
At that point of my life, i thought these two boys would be my partners in life.
6 years ago from today, is the last day i saw H. He passed away due to a hit and run car accident.
I never get to say goodbye to him. I was young, i cried. but not many people noticed it.
I do not care, i am the type who hides, according to A.
Maybe, that is when i changed.
I changed to an emotional person.
Since then, we just sort of seperated.
We barely contact each other, me and A.
I remember, i could not attend the funeral due to some reasons.
A attended for me.
White lilies are specially dedicated to him. - to symbolize purity innocence.
A helped me to bring it to him.
since then, every year of this day, we would buy a single lily and dedicate to him by throwing it to the sea. ( it is some sort of "tradition" H's family, A and me keep. )
Then years passed by.
When i was form 4, A came back to me one day - He migrated to UK.
after a long wild goose chase, i agreed to be with him.
Our relationship lasted for less than 3 years- he was not here all the time.
I thought i was madly in love with him - i thought he was the one.
I had crush on him for quite a while, and so does he to me.
But we never made a step further than friends- H's death affected us all.
I even lost faith of God.
When A and I were together, we are not like normal couples.
We rarely do what a normal couples do. - watch movie, cling hands, or anything else.
Believe it or not, we like to stare each other. it was some inside joke.
But one thing he kept telling me, is that, i could not let go H yet.
His place in my life is to deep in my heart - too hard to get it out.
I thought, by loving A, would get rid of it.
I do not know what you want to call it, Love? Passion? Brother love?
I thought i loved A more than H, as i thought loved H as my brother.- and that is the truth, at first.
The beginning, yes i do love him as passionately in love with him.
But whenever H's death comes into my head, i got confused.
I was wrong about my feelings towards A and H.
And that was one of the reason i broke up with A.
I knew i cannot love A as i keep thinking if he is H.
A found a better girl than i am, namely Rachel.
I do not mind.
As long as people in my surroundings are happy.
Happy with themselves.
many people said i am being emotional of my relationships.
Truth is, i think it is best to be emotional rather than realistic.
If you are not emotional, then what is love in realistic?
Please be happy.
Now that i found another person in my life, even if i do not have him, i just want him to be happy.
That is the lesson i learnt from Hikaru.
Now i finally can move on, after 6 years of struggling with myself.
dedicate this song to H & A.
바람이 머문 그시간 조차
나에겐 너무 모자란걸
한번의 미소 마지막 인사
사랑합니다 그댈
시간에 지쳐도 사랑에 아파도
그시간 조차 추억이고
마지막 인사를 하네요
사랑합니다 사랑합니다
Fly away Fly away LOVE
Fly away Fly away LOVE
Fly away Fly away LOVE
내생에 단 한번의 사랑아 안녕
Showing posts with label Cy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cy. Show all posts
Monday, November 2, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Shaun Evaristo & Lyle Beniga
Recently, one of my favorite idols, Tae Yang, came out his new digital single called " where u at".
It is a good song, try googling it up. =D
However, i was told that the dance choreography was not only by TaeYang, but also along with two extremely famous dancers from the States, Shaun Evaristo & Lyle Beniga.
Hence, having my own dancing spirit, i youtubed them.
Heck, why did not i know them before TaeYang?
I like to observe choreography. For me, dance is one of the ultimate weapon to communicate.
Try asking a girl for a dance. =D
Shaun Evaristo and Lyle Beniga is famous for their rhythmic dance choreography.
They dance, not only through the rhythm of the song, but also with the lyrics.
Watch the one below. It is one of Shaun Evaristo's choreography.
Could you hear the lyrics and see the dance steps?
He danced through his heart , feelings and soul.
Yes, he is a good dancer, but it is not everyone to be able to dance solely through feelings.
Not all are able to do so.
Most dance choreography, especially the famous performances, are based only on rhythms and not much on soul and feelings.
Well, body is also a tool to tell. to talk. to observe.
If you cant talk, use your body.
well, most people are used to their culture about the sensitivity of touch.
However, if you ask beforehand, that is a different case.
Every movement counts just like how when we speak, every single word counts.
Once done, is never to retrieve back.
From dancing also, you can judge what is their relationship.
take them as example.
Lyle Beniga & Shaun Evaristo
From the dance, you can see how neat and powerful the dance is.
You can say that these two have really good build up relationship OR you can say that they have real raw talent.
But , i do not believe that a good dancer comes solely based on talents. It is all about practice.
Dance can get to build relationship up.
Try that everyone.
Then within a month or so time, these two have to collobrate with Taeyang as he invited them in. In that one month time, Taeyang who is a korean, is able to produce out a fantastic result with the two of them. Taeyang's English was not bad. However, when you meet a person who is a total different culture, at the first sight, there might be a bit of gap.
However, dance brought them together.
It is the interest and passion they have, they made into this wonderful dance.
lastly, present you, what TaeYang and the two famous dance choreographer have done.
TaeYang - Where U At
-Chong Cheng Yee
It is a good song, try googling it up. =D
However, i was told that the dance choreography was not only by TaeYang, but also along with two extremely famous dancers from the States, Shaun Evaristo & Lyle Beniga.
Hence, having my own dancing spirit, i youtubed them.
Heck, why did not i know them before TaeYang?
I like to observe choreography. For me, dance is one of the ultimate weapon to communicate.
Try asking a girl for a dance. =D
Shaun Evaristo and Lyle Beniga is famous for their rhythmic dance choreography.
They dance, not only through the rhythm of the song, but also with the lyrics.
Watch the one below. It is one of Shaun Evaristo's choreography.
Could you hear the lyrics and see the dance steps?
He danced through his heart , feelings and soul.
Yes, he is a good dancer, but it is not everyone to be able to dance solely through feelings.
Not all are able to do so.
Most dance choreography, especially the famous performances, are based only on rhythms and not much on soul and feelings.
Well, body is also a tool to tell. to talk. to observe.
If you cant talk, use your body.
well, most people are used to their culture about the sensitivity of touch.
However, if you ask beforehand, that is a different case.
Every movement counts just like how when we speak, every single word counts.
Once done, is never to retrieve back.
From dancing also, you can judge what is their relationship.
take them as example.
Lyle Beniga & Shaun Evaristo
From the dance, you can see how neat and powerful the dance is.
You can say that these two have really good build up relationship OR you can say that they have real raw talent.
But , i do not believe that a good dancer comes solely based on talents. It is all about practice.
Dance can get to build relationship up.
Try that everyone.
Then within a month or so time, these two have to collobrate with Taeyang as he invited them in. In that one month time, Taeyang who is a korean, is able to produce out a fantastic result with the two of them. Taeyang's English was not bad. However, when you meet a person who is a total different culture, at the first sight, there might be a bit of gap.
However, dance brought them together.
It is the interest and passion they have, they made into this wonderful dance.
lastly, present you, what TaeYang and the two famous dance choreographer have done.
TaeYang - Where U At
-Chong Cheng Yee
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Fix yourself
Song of the post : Coldplay - Fix you
Note : it was this song inspired me to write this post.
Dedicated to someone.
When you are stressed, what do you do?
When your friend is stressed and he has a get-off-i-got-work look, what do you do?
What if you need to say something important to that person, do you go to him and say? Or shut up and wait for next time?
I am saying that, when we are stressed, we are less likely to be conscious of what we are doing. Maybe not all of us, but most of us do. We tend to be annoyed when it irritates you. We tend to scream to the person. We tend to tighten our fists. We tend to smash whatever we are holding.
Do you want the person beside you to get sad because you are stressed an let your anger out?
We never know what we will do, when we are stressed.
We do not pay much attention to what our face do and our language say.
We unintentionally spit all the anger out to whoever or whatever is near to you.
Do you feel stress?
If you do, do yourself a favour.
Run.
Run the whole office.
Run the whole floor.
Run from the HELP Main entrance to DSA.
Run back and forth to Main entrance to DSA.
Run from the first floor to second floor using stairs.
Run from the second floor to the third floor using stairs.
Run from the third floor to the top of the building.
Run up to down.
Run outside the building.
Run as if there is no tomorrow.
Run as if you can run faster than Forest Gump.
Run as if the monsters are coming after you.
Run and do not bump into anything.
Set yourself free by running.
Set your mind free.
Never look back.
After you have done running, go back, and face the challenge with that heart.
The heart of being fixed.
-Chong Cheng Yee
Note : it was this song inspired me to write this post.
Dedicated to someone.
When you are stressed, what do you do?
When your friend is stressed and he has a get-off-i-got-work look, what do you do?
What if you need to say something important to that person, do you go to him and say? Or shut up and wait for next time?
I am saying that, when we are stressed, we are less likely to be conscious of what we are doing. Maybe not all of us, but most of us do. We tend to be annoyed when it irritates you. We tend to scream to the person. We tend to tighten our fists. We tend to smash whatever we are holding.
Do you want the person beside you to get sad because you are stressed an let your anger out?
We never know what we will do, when we are stressed.
We do not pay much attention to what our face do and our language say.
We unintentionally spit all the anger out to whoever or whatever is near to you.
Do you feel stress?
If you do, do yourself a favour.
Run.
Run the whole office.
Run the whole floor.
Run from the HELP Main entrance to DSA.
Run back and forth to Main entrance to DSA.
Run from the first floor to second floor using stairs.
Run from the second floor to the third floor using stairs.
Run from the third floor to the top of the building.
Run up to down.
Run outside the building.
Run as if there is no tomorrow.
Run as if you can run faster than Forest Gump.
Run as if the monsters are coming after you.
Run and do not bump into anything.
Set yourself free by running.
Set your mind free.
Never look back.
After you have done running, go back, and face the challenge with that heart.
The heart of being fixed.
-Chong Cheng Yee
Friday, October 9, 2009
Jewelries.
Most of you may know my side occupations are, besides a student.
I am a jewelry maker.
Yes, i do beading.
No, i do not do diamonds.
Yes, i do stones.
No, it does not require patience much.
Questions answered. Save your questions next time you see me.
Well, for about 10 months i have worked as a jewelry maker, certainly, i gained something.
normally when my customers come, i will pick a wild guess.
What wild guess?
Well, is she a rich woman who is a collector?
Or well, is she just looking for jewelries for occasions?
Or well, is she just loved her jewelries so much, that she would pay anything for repairing it.
Well, my wild guesses become narrower when i served a male customer.
It is always for their girl friends, wife, proposing purposes, gifts for their friends.
It is mostly about women in their life.
Why women loves jewelries?
Honestly i do not know what the other's may say about this matter.
Most people says that when a woman wears jewelries, normally it is to "seduce" the opposite sex.
Some even say that they wear jewelries so that they attract people's attention.
well, in my opinion, I wear jewelries cause i feel good.
At least my life will not look dull.
When i feel good, i dress properly, instead of jeans and t shirt.
Not to say when i wear jeans , i am in the bad mood.
Just especially when i am particularly hyperly good mood.
Somehow, wearing jewelries (for women) does affect other people's perspective on you.
Take myself as an example.
My friends go shocked when i suddenly dressed really good.
they will ask me if i am going out for a date.
or more like, they will hint me that i attract someone.
Some people wear jewelries because they got to meet clients.
They have to wear decently to present people.
If a person is wearing decently, immediately the clients may just feel demotivated.
They will talk to you differently.
What say you?
Jewelries affecting communications?
-Chong Cheng Yee
I am a jewelry maker.
Yes, i do beading.
No, i do not do diamonds.
Yes, i do stones.
No, it does not require patience much.
Questions answered. Save your questions next time you see me.
Well, for about 10 months i have worked as a jewelry maker, certainly, i gained something.
normally when my customers come, i will pick a wild guess.
What wild guess?
Well, is she a rich woman who is a collector?
Or well, is she just looking for jewelries for occasions?
Or well, is she just loved her jewelries so much, that she would pay anything for repairing it.
Well, my wild guesses become narrower when i served a male customer.
It is always for their girl friends, wife, proposing purposes, gifts for their friends.
It is mostly about women in their life.
Why women loves jewelries?
Honestly i do not know what the other's may say about this matter.
Most people says that when a woman wears jewelries, normally it is to "seduce" the opposite sex.
Some even say that they wear jewelries so that they attract people's attention.
well, in my opinion, I wear jewelries cause i feel good.
At least my life will not look dull.
When i feel good, i dress properly, instead of jeans and t shirt.
Not to say when i wear jeans , i am in the bad mood.
Just especially when i am particularly hyperly good mood.
Somehow, wearing jewelries (for women) does affect other people's perspective on you.
Take myself as an example.
My friends go shocked when i suddenly dressed really good.
they will ask me if i am going out for a date.
or more like, they will hint me that i attract someone.
Some people wear jewelries because they got to meet clients.
They have to wear decently to present people.
If a person is wearing decently, immediately the clients may just feel demotivated.
They will talk to you differently.
What say you?
Jewelries affecting communications?
-Chong Cheng Yee
The Ugly Truth
Yes, i know. Most people had watched it and keep telling me the "beans" joke, which i am not going to reveal here.
However, i like the title, simple yet ambiguous.
How ambiguous can it be?
Let us see.
Ugly truth maybe saying that the girl has some truth that she even lies to cover it up.
Or, maybe, it can be about cheating.
Or maybe, it can be a story about an ugly girl, which is totally out, because Katherine Heigl is way too pretty.
But the fact is, the title " Ugly Truth" means that some real facts in the world about both genders, that people tends to ignore it.
For example, man just like to judge by appearance.
Women just like to judge by their checklist, well, according to the movie.
( I find it true though)
Yes, people tends to cover up their lies, making up stories.
That, my dear friends, will NEVER work in a relationship.
If you pretend to be something you do not like, you may just end up divorce, break up or even suicides, etc.
Yes you may be happy for a moment, but hey, your expressions give them away.
That is when reading people's face comes in.
However, we are so blinded by the thought that "he/she is the one, i got to grab it"
That is a total lie with yourself.
When a person approach another person for a relationship, do yourself a favour.
Read their lips and their gestures, before you regret.
Because that, my friends, is the ugly truth.
-Chong Cheng Yee
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Memories.
Song of the post : Father's watch by eternal morning
This post is dedicated to Mom.
This is a little personal stuff that i want to share with you all.
If you know me before i came into foundations, you may ask me " what am you doing now? Studying or working?"
If you want the true answer, i will say " i am wiping my memories clean."
My teenage time during my secondary school time, was not really good.
In fact, there are only two remaining school friends I still contact with until now.
Others, they are either alive in somewhere on earth or flew away.
They never approached me; I do to them. They practice conformity- That is what i do not like about.
There are many more things happen during that period of time.
They left me nothing but bad memories.
I hate those bad memories, and i was trying to wipe it clean.
There is a shield between me and relationships.
If i sensed that i will get "drown" in a relationship, i would pull myself out.
I wanted to be selfish, rather than getting myself into great depression.
However, one thing changed my mind about memories.
I thought my memories are so bad enough to torture me.
My mom suddenly have this sickness.
I dont really remember what it is called, as i only know in chinese.
She will suffer from memory loss due to her fluid in the ears are imbalanced(some what like that.)
In simple english : the ear's "damage" is so bad, that it affected the brain. - that is how the memory loss comes in.
One day, she gave me a shock. She gave me a call asking me if i need transportation home from college.
I told her, " mom. i am home."
Immediately, i went to her, asking what is wrong.
she replied that she is having headache, and wanted to have panadols.
She also said that she forgot if she had sent me home, eaten lunch, cooked dinner, bath, etc.
Few days later, she did not explain what the doctor said, but we did ask the doctor about it.
He explained about her ears problem, and how it relates to the memory loss.
It was the hardest month for me.
Sometimes, i really want to tell her, " Mom, i love you. Never forget me."
But i guess it runs in my family - We do not say it.
We do not express.
We only show her by working hard in our own life- that is exactly what my mom wanted.
How funny about memories, when i just wanted to wipe my memories away.
Having bad memories is better than not having any memories.
Imagine we forgot every single communications we have, example, you forgot the person you care the most. Every single minute, seconds, you forgot about them.
Sad, do you think so?
My mom and i never really have any much communications.
We do not fight, you could say, we have different opinions and mind set.
Example, i am more open minded, mom is more to old fashioned type mind set.
This differences really made our relationship not so good.
We communicate really differently.
We never really say it straight to the face.
However, put yourself in my shoes.
Mom is on the bed, forgot everything about your own existence, and now she is standing on the line of death and life. *touchwood*
What would you say or do?
Will you kiss her?
Will you say," It's me, your son/ daughter?
Will you hold her hands say how much you love her?
What is stopping you to do so?
Does it look gay?
Does it look weird?
Does it make you look not cool?
That was the damn last chance for them to see you.
What is inside you that stops you showing your own concern?
Think about it.
Never feel shy to do so.
That is the most beautiful thing in life - to show love.
In the movie " Moulin rouge", Ewan Mcgregor said "The greatest thing you ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return"
To that, i hold on.
Never wipe your own memories, even if they are bad.
Because the end of your life, they will be the most vivid memories in your life.
-Chengyee
This post is dedicated to Mom.
This is a little personal stuff that i want to share with you all.
If you know me before i came into foundations, you may ask me " what am you doing now? Studying or working?"
If you want the true answer, i will say " i am wiping my memories clean."
My teenage time during my secondary school time, was not really good.
In fact, there are only two remaining school friends I still contact with until now.
Others, they are either alive in somewhere on earth or flew away.
They never approached me; I do to them. They practice conformity- That is what i do not like about.
There are many more things happen during that period of time.
They left me nothing but bad memories.
I hate those bad memories, and i was trying to wipe it clean.
There is a shield between me and relationships.
If i sensed that i will get "drown" in a relationship, i would pull myself out.
I wanted to be selfish, rather than getting myself into great depression.
However, one thing changed my mind about memories.
I thought my memories are so bad enough to torture me.
My mom suddenly have this sickness.
I dont really remember what it is called, as i only know in chinese.
She will suffer from memory loss due to her fluid in the ears are imbalanced(some what like that.)
In simple english : the ear's "damage" is so bad, that it affected the brain. - that is how the memory loss comes in.
One day, she gave me a shock. She gave me a call asking me if i need transportation home from college.
I told her, " mom. i am home."
Immediately, i went to her, asking what is wrong.
she replied that she is having headache, and wanted to have panadols.
She also said that she forgot if she had sent me home, eaten lunch, cooked dinner, bath, etc.
Few days later, she did not explain what the doctor said, but we did ask the doctor about it.
He explained about her ears problem, and how it relates to the memory loss.
It was the hardest month for me.
Sometimes, i really want to tell her, " Mom, i love you. Never forget me."
But i guess it runs in my family - We do not say it.
We do not express.
We only show her by working hard in our own life- that is exactly what my mom wanted.
How funny about memories, when i just wanted to wipe my memories away.
Having bad memories is better than not having any memories.
Imagine we forgot every single communications we have, example, you forgot the person you care the most. Every single minute, seconds, you forgot about them.
Sad, do you think so?
My mom and i never really have any much communications.
We do not fight, you could say, we have different opinions and mind set.
Example, i am more open minded, mom is more to old fashioned type mind set.
This differences really made our relationship not so good.
We communicate really differently.
We never really say it straight to the face.
However, put yourself in my shoes.
Mom is on the bed, forgot everything about your own existence, and now she is standing on the line of death and life. *touchwood*
What would you say or do?
Will you kiss her?
Will you say," It's me, your son/ daughter?
Will you hold her hands say how much you love her?
What is stopping you to do so?
Does it look gay?
Does it look weird?
Does it make you look not cool?
That was the damn last chance for them to see you.
What is inside you that stops you showing your own concern?
Think about it.
Never feel shy to do so.
That is the most beautiful thing in life - to show love.
In the movie " Moulin rouge", Ewan Mcgregor said "The greatest thing you ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return"
To that, i hold on.
Never wipe your own memories, even if they are bad.
Because the end of your life, they will be the most vivid memories in your life.
-Chengyee
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Touch.
Song of the post: Aqualong - Brighter than sunshine
This post is dedicated to the ones i cared.
Some people are just afraid of touch.
Like a friend of mine, she does not like me tickling her all the time.
In fact some guys, they hate me touching them, because i tend to whack them.
Truth is, we enjoy touch. No matter how much you hate touch, or feel frightened of touch.
We are touched since we are born. Do you know how it feels to touch a newborn baby?
Your first time touching your own child, imagine that.
Touch is the first communication we learn since we are babies.
We normally pat, throw your arms around the shoulder, tickle. to our friends or family.
It is so normal that we do not realize it.
We do it all the time.
We can tell, by touch, how our relationships are progressing.
Heard of the book by Audrey Niffenegger " The Time Traveler's Wife"?
I apologize for the example used, but it is the strongest example you can feel.
Please be open minded for these next paragraphs.
In that book, Henry is a time traveler. He can just disappear suddenly and travel in his or Clare's ( His future wife ) memories. Imagine this, you are time travelling, and you suddenly see you own 4 years old. That is how Henry lives through out the time.
He knows his own fate- married to clare.
Clare knows that too.
Because of his genetic disorder, he always cannot be there for clare.
Every time he comes back, he would kissed her, had sex with her, all kinds of things.
nearly every single chapter of the book, at least has one scene of that.
Can you imagine, if God made us not to feel touch?
Every single time your lover touch you, do you feel the excitement?
Have you ever felt that you want to touch a person you love, but you cannot?
I believe everyone has this experience before.
Especially when it comes to loving a person.
Touch is really a beautiful thing.
Feel it.
-Chengyee
This post is dedicated to the ones i cared.
Some people are just afraid of touch.
Like a friend of mine, she does not like me tickling her all the time.
In fact some guys, they hate me touching them, because i tend to whack them.
Truth is, we enjoy touch. No matter how much you hate touch, or feel frightened of touch.
We are touched since we are born. Do you know how it feels to touch a newborn baby?
Your first time touching your own child, imagine that.
Touch is the first communication we learn since we are babies.
We normally pat, throw your arms around the shoulder, tickle. to our friends or family.
It is so normal that we do not realize it.
We do it all the time.
We can tell, by touch, how our relationships are progressing.
Heard of the book by Audrey Niffenegger " The Time Traveler's Wife"?
I apologize for the example used, but it is the strongest example you can feel.
Please be open minded for these next paragraphs.
In that book, Henry is a time traveler. He can just disappear suddenly and travel in his or Clare's ( His future wife ) memories. Imagine this, you are time travelling, and you suddenly see you own 4 years old. That is how Henry lives through out the time.
He knows his own fate- married to clare.
Clare knows that too.
Because of his genetic disorder, he always cannot be there for clare.
Every time he comes back, he would kissed her, had sex with her, all kinds of things.
nearly every single chapter of the book, at least has one scene of that.
Can you imagine, if God made us not to feel touch?
Every single time your lover touch you, do you feel the excitement?
Have you ever felt that you want to touch a person you love, but you cannot?
I believe everyone has this experience before.
Especially when it comes to loving a person.
Touch is really a beautiful thing.
Feel it.
-Chengyee
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Why Mars & Venus collide
Recently, whenever i go into a book sales, for sure, i would bring back stacks of books.
It was not a habit for me to read, especially to those who knows me well.
Good thing, i do not go craze about fashion much then.
Anyways, I am reading this book called "Why Mars & Venus collide" by John Gray.
Familiar?
Yes, it is the same author for "Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
It is nearly somewhat the same- it mentions about the communications and emotion need between two genders.
However, this book teaches you why and how people get breakdowns from their relationships,
also not to mention, ways to overcome these.
As i read the book, there was something caught my eyes.
In fact it is two quotations from the book -
It does not only applies on couples, but general.
Imagine, if we can talk face to face, pressing down and anger, trying to solve a problem in good manner, damage in the relationship would be reduced!
How many of us could actually solve problems, face to face, by using patience and positive attitudes, not by blaming on each other?
You can say that asians normally do not do that.
Some people thinks that they are fighting for their respect and rights.
Actually, that is creating more problems.
If they are open minded and accepted facts, at least the problem is solved.
The book also mentioned about women, avoiding fights and improving situations.
It says that a woman should not challenge man with threatening questions and comments.
Normally, when quarreling, guys would pretend listening when people are "nagging" to them, especially the women.
Then they will tell him that he is not listening.
They would tell him this.
" You are not listening, you will never understand."
He may have reacted upon to that, especially when he thinks that his or her comment is absurd.
Instead, they should tell him in a positive way.
For example, " Let me say this differently"
At least guys would be glad that they are changing slightly the way they explain.
Imagine you are the guy, maybe you will understand more.
Men and Women communicate differently.
If you want to prevent colliding, then read the book.
It helps, not only to couples, but to any communications.
^^
-Cheng Yee
It was not a habit for me to read, especially to those who knows me well.
Good thing, i do not go craze about fashion much then.
Anyways, I am reading this book called "Why Mars & Venus collide" by John Gray.
Familiar?
Yes, it is the same author for "Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
It is nearly somewhat the same- it mentions about the communications and emotion need between two genders.
However, this book teaches you why and how people get breakdowns from their relationships,
also not to mention, ways to overcome these.
As i read the book, there was something caught my eyes.
In fact it is two quotations from the book -
" It makes it much easier to talk without blaming when we remember that we speak different languages."
" Mixing feelings and problem solving simply does not work"
" Mixing feelings and problem solving simply does not work"
It does not only applies on couples, but general.
Imagine, if we can talk face to face, pressing down and anger, trying to solve a problem in good manner, damage in the relationship would be reduced!
How many of us could actually solve problems, face to face, by using patience and positive attitudes, not by blaming on each other?
You can say that asians normally do not do that.
Some people thinks that they are fighting for their respect and rights.
Actually, that is creating more problems.
If they are open minded and accepted facts, at least the problem is solved.
The book also mentioned about women, avoiding fights and improving situations.
It says that a woman should not challenge man with threatening questions and comments.
Normally, when quarreling, guys would pretend listening when people are "nagging" to them, especially the women.
Then they will tell him that he is not listening.
They would tell him this.
" You are not listening, you will never understand."
He may have reacted upon to that, especially when he thinks that his or her comment is absurd.
Instead, they should tell him in a positive way.
For example, " Let me say this differently"
At least guys would be glad that they are changing slightly the way they explain.
Imagine you are the guy, maybe you will understand more.
Men and Women communicate differently.
If you want to prevent colliding, then read the book.
It helps, not only to couples, but to any communications.
^^
-Cheng Yee
Friday, September 11, 2009
Each communication is different.
The World War 1 started right out after the assassination of The Austria Prince. Before it started, there were many conflicts between these countries. It was ended on 29 Sept 1918. Four long years.
The World war 2 followed up soon.It started on 1 September 1939. Reason? Conquering each other and compare who has the highest power. Also, not to mention,Hitler himself does not want to give up of his hopes: Conquering countries and abolishing democracy by introducing communism. It ended with the Nagasaki and Hiroshima incident.
The 911 attack. Because of the terrorists attack on the twin tower of World Trade Center in New York City, America attack their country.
What causes these?
Each communication is different. If it is all the same, then what is so special with communication? What is so special about relationships then? The way we communicate are associated with our own behaviour and habits. Hence, we communicate differently. People may take certain hobbies such as collecting insects in a jar (E.g. Grissom in CSI :Las Vegas) but it is absolutely normal, because it is the way they are. It goes the same as family. We do no need to show our love by saying "I love you" or some other actions. We always show our love to our own family by criticizing each other indirectly. For example, my sister and I are in a clothing shop, and i am buying clothes for my presentation. She will never say "It looks good on you." or "You should get this!". Instead, she will say "You are FAT! You have to slim down!". Indirect compliment.
It depends on how we look at each communication. If a person is biased, hence they only think what they think is right; not listening to opinions and facts. That is when misunderstandings play a role in this. They only judge based of what they knew, and not what they are supposed to know. It is their own thoughts and attitude that “poisons” the communication. We have our own ideas and these ideas normally do not match with other people. Critics, they call it. They have to work hard to overcome misunderstandings.
We normally find difficulty confronting problems with foreigners who speaks a total different language besides english and our own country language. We can always try to "blend in" but not offend them. Respect is the key. Never forget that.
As conclusion, each communication comes in different way. When we confront a misunderstanding, we have to see the problem clearly without other factors affecting communication.
What started the war?
Imagine world without war.
-Cheng Yee
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