Causes of Stress in Public Speaking

Public speaking has been very common among college students. However, most of us are very afraid and overly stressful after we are assigned to speak in public. We always try to avoid public speaking. Nevertheless, avoidance will not help us to overcome public speaking. Public speaking can be very stressful and tough if you do not overcome it. We should take our first step to seek and overcome the fear of public speaking.

Now, I would like to share some common causes and ways to avoid stress in public speaking. First, we must trust that public speaking is naturally stressful. We should take it easy and understand that it is just a speech. We must try to understand our major causes of stress during public speaking.Secondly, having the wrong objectives of public speaking will also lead you to be stressful. You must know that your purpose of public speaking is to convince, persuade, motivate and educate your audience. You must focus on your audience’s needs.

Next, trying to accomplish a lot of material will make you become too stressful. You must know that due to time constraint you are not able to cover all your material. You can just give a brief summary during your speech. The audience will ask you some questions if they are interested to know more details. In addition, you should do more practice to speak in public because we know that practice makes perfect. With sufficient practice, you will not be stressed out.

Subsequently, you must try to overcome fear and not fight against it. You must accept your anxiousness and not be too worried. In addition, you should not try to emulate other speakers because every one of us has their own speaking styles. You can learn from them but do not imitate them. You must be comfortable with your own way of speaking style.

Compiled by,

Lai Shu Tiing

THE FACE...

Words. Sentences. Language. all these can be expressed verbally but what makes the whole situation is the tone and the facial expressions. For example, when a person who is afraid of rats sees a rat and when he does he says “oh my god”. That’s sentence he said can give a lot of different meanings, but in this case he says it with a shocked expression and then runs gives meaning the the sentence. He puts it such that he is shocked and scared of the rat. Or when someone says “come here”. If it is put in a high and harsh tone it could mean a person is angry or if put in a normal smiley tone it could mean a person is just calling u to come. The tone and facial expression of a person can mean a lot. Even without saying anything the face can explain various meaning. Without us realizing it people can read us through our faces. Sometimes u wonder, “why does she think she did something wrong when I didn’t say a word to her”, well when someone is angry or upset its not easy to hide. Somewhere the face or the eyes would show. This could make a person feel uncomfortable thinking they done something wrong. Just the face alone can create a lot of misunderstanding among people close to you. -ASHREEN KAUR-

THINK YOUR IN LOVE??

Love love love!! Sometimes when we like a person we assume its love!! Oh my god I think im in love. That is a common line we hear a lot these days. What we do not realize is that there are many kinds of love. Many guys get attracted to girls who are beautiful. This is call EROS LOVE. They usually focus on beauty and sensuality. Another type of love is LUDIC LOVE, this if a form of which love is considered as a game. A ludic lover would not consider the relationship to be serious. STORAGE LOVE is a peaceful and tranquil love. These people search for partner they can share interest and companionship with. PRAGMA LOVE on the other hand is practical and traditional. These type of lovers concentrate on personal qualities ,family and background. MANIC LOVE is an obsessive love which needs constant attention and affection. And finally AGPIC LOVE is compassionate and selfless. This is a love offered without concern for personal reward or gain and will not have expectations that the love would be returned! Therefore before thinking you are in love, do check what kind of love you are in.

-ASHREEN KAUR-

Memories.

Song of the post : Father's watch by eternal morning
This post is dedicated to Mom.

This is a little personal stuff that i want to share with you all.
If you know me before i came into foundations, you may ask me " what am you doing now? Studying or working?"
If you want the true answer, i will say " i am wiping my memories clean."

My teenage time during my secondary school time, was not really good.
In fact, there are only two remaining school friends I still contact with until now.
Others, they are either alive in somewhere on earth or flew away.
They never approached me; I do to them. They practice conformity- That is what i do not like about.
There are many more things happen during that period of time.
They left me nothing but bad memories.
I hate those bad memories, and i was trying to wipe it clean.
There is a shield between me and relationships.
If i sensed that i will get "drown" in a relationship, i would pull myself out.
I wanted to be selfish, rather than getting myself into great depression.

However, one thing changed my mind about memories.
I thought my memories are so bad enough to torture me.

My mom suddenly have this sickness.
I dont really remember what it is called, as i only know in chinese.
She will suffer from memory loss due to her fluid in the ears are imbalanced(some what like that.)
In simple english : the ear's "damage" is so bad, that it affected the brain. - that is how the memory loss comes in.
One day, she gave me a shock. She gave me a call asking me if i need transportation home from college.
I told her, " mom. i am home."
Immediately, i went to her, asking what is wrong.
she replied that she is having headache, and wanted to have panadols.
She also said that she forgot if she had sent me home, eaten lunch, cooked dinner, bath, etc.
Few days later, she did not explain what the doctor said, but we did ask the doctor about it.
He explained about her ears problem, and how it relates to the memory loss.

It was the hardest month for me.
Sometimes, i really want to tell her, " Mom, i love you. Never forget me."
But i guess it runs in my family - We do not say it.
We do not express.
We only show her by working hard in our own life- that is exactly what my mom wanted.

How funny about memories, when i just wanted to wipe my memories away.
Having bad memories is better than not having any memories.
Imagine we forgot every single communications we have, example, you forgot the person you care the most. Every single minute, seconds, you forgot about them.
Sad, do you think so?

My mom and i never really have any much communications.
We do not fight, you could say, we have different opinions and mind set.
Example, i am more open minded, mom is more to old fashioned type mind set.
This differences really made our relationship not so good.
We communicate really differently.
We never really say it straight to the face.

However, put yourself in my shoes.
Mom is on the bed, forgot everything about your own existence, and now she is standing on the line of death and life. *touchwood*
What would you say or do?
Will you kiss her?
Will you say," It's me, your son/ daughter?
Will you hold her hands say how much you love her?
What is stopping you to do so?

Does it look gay?
Does it look weird?
Does it make you look not cool?

That was the damn last chance for them to see you.

What is inside you that stops you showing your own concern?
Think about it.

Never feel shy to do so.
That is the most beautiful thing in life - to show love.
In the movie " Moulin rouge", Ewan Mcgregor said "The greatest thing you ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return"
To that, i hold on.

Never wipe your own memories, even if they are bad.
Because the end of your life, they will be the most vivid memories in your life.

-Chengyee

Does it really improved?

As we all know, communication is important to keep the relationship keep going and strong. But, certain couples are still clueless about how to maintain a good relationships with their own partner. To keep your realtionship healthy, there's nothing you can do except for understand each other and being empathy, feel being in someone else's shoes.

First of all, you have to know what exactly the communication styles you're using. Is the partner can accept the way you communicate with he/she? Its important to make sure they understand what you meant to say.

Secondly, whenever you get into fight or something really can't work, just look at yourself first. People always tend to blame their partner every time things go wrong. You will start pointing to them for all the wrongdoing. For your information, it's hard to realize your own mistakes and takes the responsibility to view and judge your own actions. It is because you hard to accept critics from others. So from now on, try to be more considerate and avoid misunderstanding with your partner.

Ease your mind. Lots of couples complain that they tried so much but it seems that everything just can't work. The best thing is try to slow things down and cool down. Don't jump into conclusion. You cannot blame the communication styles you're using cause its actually the key to neutralize your relationship. Instead, try to figure out something else. Does you and your partners accept the way you guys are communicating? Does you guys interpret the information correctly while discussing the matter?Share and try to convince your partner rather than just ask them to follow what you want.

Besides that, a good communication rely on the way you listen to improve your relationship. Try to rewind back, are you really listen to your partner is saying or just hear what he/she is saying? For certain people, how you react, give respond and attention when the person is speaking is important. It reflect what you are in person. It shows whether you are serious in the relationship or not. It means whether you connect emotionally to your partner. Bear in mind that communication in a relationship have to be open, honest, respectful to each other and tolerate to avoid arguments.


Last but not least, everything about your own relationship its actually up to you on how you put your efforts to manage it as perfect as possible. Good communication and understanding will enhance a better, healthier and loving relationship.

Its not complicated after all.

B0901417

IZYAN ARINA MAZLAN

did they mean it?

its like a common things that happened in college or workplace.Some people don't even care but some do care. This matter is very sensitive and are taken very seriously. Actually, the word 'sexual' had gave us a briefly meaning what its all about while harassment means an offensive behavior to someone.

So frankly, sexual harassment is a an unwelcome verbal, non-verbal, visual, psychological or physical conduct of a sexual nature that be perceived by the the victim as an insult, humiliation or because of his/her gender.

There are two categories of sexual harassment that are : -
i) Sexual Coercion - type of harassment which has direct results in some consequence to the victim's employment. It is an employment discrimination.

ii) Sexual annoyance - demeaning and unwelcome sexually related behavior that is offensive to the victim, but has no direct connection to any job benefits.




If you become the victim of sexual harassment, there are low chances to bring the matter to court and fight for justice unless its a very major case. This is because its depend on the sensitivity of your management and company. you will be examined thoroughly.

Furthermore, you will be forced to speak publicly about embarrassing events, be shunned by your co-employee and discriminated against by supervisors. These are the main reasons most women being sexually harassed don't sue or make any sort of formal complaint.

If you are being sexually harassed.what should you do?
Those are the steps you should folow : -

1. Tell the harasser the truth that you is uncomfortable of what they are doing to you
2. write the incident that happened with a full record and detail with the date and time so that its easier for you to have an evidence.
3. Find a witnesses.
4. Be clear and direct to avoid some miscommunication.

5. tell someone immediately after the matter happened.
6. If you don't feel safe, make a police report and complaint.






So people out there, be careful and take precautions. Of course the girls out there especially don't want to have this kind of experience right? Guys, be cool.

IZYAN ARINA MAZLAN

B0901417

Touch.

Song of the post: Aqualong - Brighter than sunshine
This post is dedicated to the ones i cared.

Some people are just afraid of touch.
Like a friend of mine, she does not like me tickling her all the time.
In fact some guys, they hate me touching them, because i tend to whack them.

Truth is, we enjoy touch. No matter how much you hate touch, or feel frightened of touch.
We are touched since we are born. Do you know how it feels to touch a newborn baby?
Your first time touching your own child, imagine that.
Touch is the first communication we learn since we are babies.

We normally pat, throw your arms around the shoulder, tickle. to our friends or family.
It is so normal that we do not realize it.
We do it all the time.
We can tell, by touch, how our relationships are progressing.

Heard of the book by Audrey Niffenegger " The Time Traveler's Wife"?
I apologize for the example used, but it is the strongest example you can feel.
Please be open minded for these next paragraphs.
In that book, Henry is a time traveler. He can just disappear suddenly and travel in his or Clare's ( His future wife ) memories. Imagine this, you are time travelling, and you suddenly see you own 4 years old. That is how Henry lives through out the time.
He knows his own fate- married to clare.
Clare knows that too.
Because of his genetic disorder, he always cannot be there for clare.
Every time he comes back, he would kissed her, had sex with her, all kinds of things.
nearly every single chapter of the book, at least has one scene of that.

Can you imagine, if God made us not to feel touch?
Every single time your lover touch you, do you feel the excitement?
Have you ever felt that you want to touch a person you love, but you cannot?
I believe everyone has this experience before.
Especially when it comes to loving a person.

Touch is really a beautiful thing.
Feel it.

-Chengyee