Why Mars & Venus collide

Recently, whenever i go into a book sales, for sure, i would bring back stacks of books.
It was not a habit for me to read, especially to those who knows me well.
Good thing, i do not go craze about fashion much then.
Anyways, I am reading this book called "Why Mars & Venus collide" by John Gray.

Familiar?
Yes, it is the same author for "Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus."
It is nearly somewhat the same- it mentions about the communications and emotion need between two genders.
However, this book teaches you why and how people get breakdowns from their relationships,
also not to mention, ways to overcome these.

As i read the book, there was something caught my eyes.
In fact it is two quotations from the book -

" It makes it much easier to talk without blaming when we remember that we speak different languages."
" Mixing feelings and problem solving simply does not work"

It does not only applies on couples, but general.
Imagine, if we can talk face to face, pressing down and anger, trying to solve a problem in good manner, damage in the relationship would be reduced!
How many of us could actually solve problems, face to face, by using patience and positive attitudes, not by blaming on each other?
You can say that asians normally do not do that.
Some people thinks that they are fighting for their respect and rights.
Actually, that is creating more problems.
If they are open minded and accepted facts, at least the problem is solved.

The book also mentioned about women, avoiding fights and improving situations.
It says that a woman should not challenge man with threatening questions and comments.
Normally, when quarreling, guys would pretend listening when people are "nagging" to them, especially the women.
Then they will tell him that he is not listening.
They would tell him this.
" You are not listening, you will never understand."
He may have reacted upon to that, especially when he thinks that his or her comment is absurd.

Instead, they should tell him in a positive way.
For example, " Let me say this differently"
At least guys would be glad that they are changing slightly the way they explain.
Imagine you are the guy, maybe you will understand more.

Men and Women communicate differently.
If you want to prevent colliding, then read the book.
It helps, not only to couples, but to any communications.
^^


-Cheng Yee