Memories.

Song of the post : Father's watch by eternal morning
This post is dedicated to Mom.

This is a little personal stuff that i want to share with you all.
If you know me before i came into foundations, you may ask me " what am you doing now? Studying or working?"
If you want the true answer, i will say " i am wiping my memories clean."

My teenage time during my secondary school time, was not really good.
In fact, there are only two remaining school friends I still contact with until now.
Others, they are either alive in somewhere on earth or flew away.
They never approached me; I do to them. They practice conformity- That is what i do not like about.
There are many more things happen during that period of time.
They left me nothing but bad memories.
I hate those bad memories, and i was trying to wipe it clean.
There is a shield between me and relationships.
If i sensed that i will get "drown" in a relationship, i would pull myself out.
I wanted to be selfish, rather than getting myself into great depression.

However, one thing changed my mind about memories.
I thought my memories are so bad enough to torture me.

My mom suddenly have this sickness.
I dont really remember what it is called, as i only know in chinese.
She will suffer from memory loss due to her fluid in the ears are imbalanced(some what like that.)
In simple english : the ear's "damage" is so bad, that it affected the brain. - that is how the memory loss comes in.
One day, she gave me a shock. She gave me a call asking me if i need transportation home from college.
I told her, " mom. i am home."
Immediately, i went to her, asking what is wrong.
she replied that she is having headache, and wanted to have panadols.
She also said that she forgot if she had sent me home, eaten lunch, cooked dinner, bath, etc.
Few days later, she did not explain what the doctor said, but we did ask the doctor about it.
He explained about her ears problem, and how it relates to the memory loss.

It was the hardest month for me.
Sometimes, i really want to tell her, " Mom, i love you. Never forget me."
But i guess it runs in my family - We do not say it.
We do not express.
We only show her by working hard in our own life- that is exactly what my mom wanted.

How funny about memories, when i just wanted to wipe my memories away.
Having bad memories is better than not having any memories.
Imagine we forgot every single communications we have, example, you forgot the person you care the most. Every single minute, seconds, you forgot about them.
Sad, do you think so?

My mom and i never really have any much communications.
We do not fight, you could say, we have different opinions and mind set.
Example, i am more open minded, mom is more to old fashioned type mind set.
This differences really made our relationship not so good.
We communicate really differently.
We never really say it straight to the face.

However, put yourself in my shoes.
Mom is on the bed, forgot everything about your own existence, and now she is standing on the line of death and life. *touchwood*
What would you say or do?
Will you kiss her?
Will you say," It's me, your son/ daughter?
Will you hold her hands say how much you love her?
What is stopping you to do so?

Does it look gay?
Does it look weird?
Does it make you look not cool?

That was the damn last chance for them to see you.

What is inside you that stops you showing your own concern?
Think about it.

Never feel shy to do so.
That is the most beautiful thing in life - to show love.
In the movie " Moulin rouge", Ewan Mcgregor said "The greatest thing you ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return"
To that, i hold on.

Never wipe your own memories, even if they are bad.
Because the end of your life, they will be the most vivid memories in your life.

-Chengyee

Does it really improved?

As we all know, communication is important to keep the relationship keep going and strong. But, certain couples are still clueless about how to maintain a good relationships with their own partner. To keep your realtionship healthy, there's nothing you can do except for understand each other and being empathy, feel being in someone else's shoes.

First of all, you have to know what exactly the communication styles you're using. Is the partner can accept the way you communicate with he/she? Its important to make sure they understand what you meant to say.

Secondly, whenever you get into fight or something really can't work, just look at yourself first. People always tend to blame their partner every time things go wrong. You will start pointing to them for all the wrongdoing. For your information, it's hard to realize your own mistakes and takes the responsibility to view and judge your own actions. It is because you hard to accept critics from others. So from now on, try to be more considerate and avoid misunderstanding with your partner.

Ease your mind. Lots of couples complain that they tried so much but it seems that everything just can't work. The best thing is try to slow things down and cool down. Don't jump into conclusion. You cannot blame the communication styles you're using cause its actually the key to neutralize your relationship. Instead, try to figure out something else. Does you and your partners accept the way you guys are communicating? Does you guys interpret the information correctly while discussing the matter?Share and try to convince your partner rather than just ask them to follow what you want.

Besides that, a good communication rely on the way you listen to improve your relationship. Try to rewind back, are you really listen to your partner is saying or just hear what he/she is saying? For certain people, how you react, give respond and attention when the person is speaking is important. It reflect what you are in person. It shows whether you are serious in the relationship or not. It means whether you connect emotionally to your partner. Bear in mind that communication in a relationship have to be open, honest, respectful to each other and tolerate to avoid arguments.


Last but not least, everything about your own relationship its actually up to you on how you put your efforts to manage it as perfect as possible. Good communication and understanding will enhance a better, healthier and loving relationship.

Its not complicated after all.

B0901417

IZYAN ARINA MAZLAN

did they mean it?

its like a common things that happened in college or workplace.Some people don't even care but some do care. This matter is very sensitive and are taken very seriously. Actually, the word 'sexual' had gave us a briefly meaning what its all about while harassment means an offensive behavior to someone.

So frankly, sexual harassment is a an unwelcome verbal, non-verbal, visual, psychological or physical conduct of a sexual nature that be perceived by the the victim as an insult, humiliation or because of his/her gender.

There are two categories of sexual harassment that are : -
i) Sexual Coercion - type of harassment which has direct results in some consequence to the victim's employment. It is an employment discrimination.

ii) Sexual annoyance - demeaning and unwelcome sexually related behavior that is offensive to the victim, but has no direct connection to any job benefits.




If you become the victim of sexual harassment, there are low chances to bring the matter to court and fight for justice unless its a very major case. This is because its depend on the sensitivity of your management and company. you will be examined thoroughly.

Furthermore, you will be forced to speak publicly about embarrassing events, be shunned by your co-employee and discriminated against by supervisors. These are the main reasons most women being sexually harassed don't sue or make any sort of formal complaint.

If you are being sexually harassed.what should you do?
Those are the steps you should folow : -

1. Tell the harasser the truth that you is uncomfortable of what they are doing to you
2. write the incident that happened with a full record and detail with the date and time so that its easier for you to have an evidence.
3. Find a witnesses.
4. Be clear and direct to avoid some miscommunication.

5. tell someone immediately after the matter happened.
6. If you don't feel safe, make a police report and complaint.






So people out there, be careful and take precautions. Of course the girls out there especially don't want to have this kind of experience right? Guys, be cool.

IZYAN ARINA MAZLAN

B0901417

Touch.

Song of the post: Aqualong - Brighter than sunshine
This post is dedicated to the ones i cared.

Some people are just afraid of touch.
Like a friend of mine, she does not like me tickling her all the time.
In fact some guys, they hate me touching them, because i tend to whack them.

Truth is, we enjoy touch. No matter how much you hate touch, or feel frightened of touch.
We are touched since we are born. Do you know how it feels to touch a newborn baby?
Your first time touching your own child, imagine that.
Touch is the first communication we learn since we are babies.

We normally pat, throw your arms around the shoulder, tickle. to our friends or family.
It is so normal that we do not realize it.
We do it all the time.
We can tell, by touch, how our relationships are progressing.

Heard of the book by Audrey Niffenegger " The Time Traveler's Wife"?
I apologize for the example used, but it is the strongest example you can feel.
Please be open minded for these next paragraphs.
In that book, Henry is a time traveler. He can just disappear suddenly and travel in his or Clare's ( His future wife ) memories. Imagine this, you are time travelling, and you suddenly see you own 4 years old. That is how Henry lives through out the time.
He knows his own fate- married to clare.
Clare knows that too.
Because of his genetic disorder, he always cannot be there for clare.
Every time he comes back, he would kissed her, had sex with her, all kinds of things.
nearly every single chapter of the book, at least has one scene of that.

Can you imagine, if God made us not to feel touch?
Every single time your lover touch you, do you feel the excitement?
Have you ever felt that you want to touch a person you love, but you cannot?
I believe everyone has this experience before.
Especially when it comes to loving a person.

Touch is really a beautiful thing.
Feel it.

-Chengyee

Stage Fright

We often come across numerous presentations in our schooling which requires us to give a speech on the stage. Some of us will feel anxious and fear to give a speech in front of the audience. Before stepping up to the stage, there are some minor changes for some of the people, such as the heart is beating very fast, the palms are sweating, stomach upset and others. Thus, they are most likely suffering from stage fright. Stage fright is a kind of phobia which is known as gloss phobia. This phobia is happening frequently to some of us. In fact, it may bring some negative effects to people who are over nervous. Therefore, have you ever thought of overcoming it? Will you be brave enough to take the first step to overcome stage fright?

Now, I would like to share some ways to overcome this stage fright. Firstly, you must be prepared for your presentation by doing some research through any sources. You must know and understand the topics of your presentation at your finger tips. In addition, you must be prepared that the audience may ask some questions during your presentation. So, you may need to do some extra readings to enable you to answer their questions.

Secondly, you must always be focused and avoid being distracted. You should not think that the speech is going to take a long time. You can just assume it to be an 8 minutes presentation. You can try to be more comfortable at the beginning of the speech. In doing so, it will minimize your anxiety on the stage.

Subsequently, you can take some deep breaths to calm yourself down. In this way, it can relieve your stress and keep you relaxed. Besides, you should be self-motivated and always in a positive mind that you are able to give a proper speech on the stage. You should not take public speaking as something which is bad for you. You must be aware that every one of us has the probability of making mistakes at any situation. Therefore, you should not be overly worried that you had made a mistake. You also can try to make some jokes to attract the attention of the audience, so that the audience will listen to you.


Compiled by,

Lai Shu Tiing

Common Mistakes in a Job Interview

Job plays an important role in our life, especially for those who are the breadwinners in their families. They need a job to earn money, so that they are able to support their family members by providing them with sufficient comestibles, shelter and daily needs. To obtain a job, we must always go through an interview session. Interview is so important because it is the first impression to the boss. Thus, we always try to give our best and show the most presentable appearance to the interviewer. However, we are all human, so it is highly possible that we may make some mistakes in our job interviews.

After completing a job interview, will you try to figure out what mistakes you have made during the interview session? Now, I would like to talk about some of the common mistakes that some of us have made. In a job interview, time management is very crucial, but some of us always late for an interview without prior notice to the person who in charge. Thus, this will give a bad impression to the interviewer.

Talking too much is also considered a mistake in a job interview. It is advisable that not to talk too much, but instead listening to the question being asked and give a proper answer which is clear and precise. When answering the question, it is important to mind your language and do not be racist.

As we know, body language speaks louder than words because it is considered nonverbal communication. However, some of our body language is contradicting to what we had just said. This incident will make the interviewer wonder and doubt to hire you as his employee. In addition, some of us always repeat some minor mistakes in body language, such as too weak or strong handshakes or no eye contact with the interviewer. We should always avoid these mistakes.

Lack of preparation and confidence will also affect the perception of the interviewer of you. Without proper preparation for your job interview one will give impression to the interviewer that this job interview is not important and you are poor in managing your job interview and did not do some proper research on the respective company.

On the other hand, inappropriate dressing code and failing to ask questions are also considered as common mistakes in your job interview. You are advice not to wear informal dressing for your interview but instead you should wear formal clothing and minimal accessories. Failing to ask questions will show that you are not interested in the job. So, you are encouraged to ask some questions of the interviewer, but do not bring up salary matter at the beginning of your interview. Furthermore, lying or concealing information should be avoided because the interviewer will view you as a dishonest person if they have found out that you are lying.

Compiled by,


Lai Shu Tiing